The Curse of Knowledge

Sounds like a Horror film, and honestly, it kind of is. Cue the dramatic trailer voice:

“In a world… where you know too much… you must now explain it to someone who has no context… no background… and no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ok, it's not a B-movie, but the curse of knowledge is ruining your communication.

You know the moment. You’re walking someone through something that’s crystal clear in your head, but their expression says otherwise.

They’re nodding, maybe. Or maybe they’re just staring at you, waiting for it to click.

Inside, you’re thinking, Wait, didn’t I already explain this? Isn’t this obvious? And if you’re being totally honest, a tiny part of you might wonder, Are they even trying to understand?

But Wait... Do You Have It?

You probably do. We all do.

The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that happens when you assume others know what you know. You’ve spent days, weeks, or years immersed in your work, your project, your process—and over time, you forget what it was like not to know those things.

So you skip steps. You use shorthand. You leave out context. And then you get frustrated when others can’t follow.

It’s not arrogance. It’s just your brain taking a shortcut. That shortcut makes you feel more efficient but leaves the other person confused, disconnected, and a little afraid to ask follow-up questions.

Worse? The longer you’ve known something, the harder it is to remember what it felt like to be new. That’s why subject matter experts sometimes make the worst teachers and why seasoned professionals can accidentally sound condescending, even when they don’t mean to.

Common signs you're under the curse:

• You say, “This should be common sense.”

• You expect people to “just know” how to do something.

• You feel like you’re repeating yourself, but it’s not landing.

• You forget how much time you spent learning the thing you now expect someone else to master instantly.

If any of those hit a little too close to home, congratulations. You’ve got the curse. But don’t worry, there’s a cure.

Break the Curse: 5 Ways to Improve Communication

This isn’t about dumbing things down. It’s about getting curious and checking in, especially when the stakes are high or the task is complex.

Here are five ways to communicate more clearly and connect more meaningfully—even when you're the one with all the knowledge:

1. Pause Before You Present

Before explaining a task or concept, ask yourself: What assumptions am I making about what this person already knows?

Then, adjust your explanation. You don’t need to start from scratch, but you might need to connect a few dots that aren’t obvious to someone seeing it for the first time.

2. Use Analogies, Not Acronyms

Acronyms can feel like shorthand for those in the know, but they’re a fast track to confusion if your audience isn’t familiar. Analogies, on the other hand, help bridge understanding.

Instead of saying, “The CMS needs to integrate with the CRM,” try, “Our content system needs to connect with our customer database, like making sure the pantry is stocked before we plan the recipes.”

3. Ask, Don't Assume

Instead of “You know how this works, right?” try:

• “How familiar are you with this part of the process?”

• “Would a quick walkthrough be helpful?”

This keeps the conversation open and empowers the other person to ask questions without feeling behind.

4. Invite Feedback Early

One of the biggest mistakes in communication is waiting until the end to get feedback. Bring people into the conversation early and check for clarity. It’s much easier to make adjustments when everyone feels safe saying, “I don’t get it yet.”

5. Stay Curious, Not Defensive

When someone doesn’t understand what we’re saying, it can be tempting to double down or get frustrated. But curiosity is the antidote.

Ask yourself: What am I missing about how they’re interpreting this? or What experience might be shaping their understanding?

Communication is never just about clarity; it’s about connection. When we move past assumptions and take the time to understand where someone is coming from, we make space for trust, learning, and true collaboration.

Need Help?

If your team is stuck in a cycle of miscommunication, or you’re tired of feeling like the only one who “gets it,” let’s change that. I work with individuals and organizations to build communication habits that actually stick without the jargon, the stress, or the repeating-yourself-for-the-ninth-time frustration.

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