Start With Connection

What’s the first thing you reach for in the morning?

Phone? Coffee? Existential dread?

Totally fair. But here’s a wild thought: what if you reached for curiosity and connection instead?

I know, I know. It sounds like something you'd read on a wellness poster in the breakroom. But stick with me.

In most workplaces—remote, hybrid, in-office, it doesn’t matter—there’s an invisible habit that creeps in quietly and does way more damage than we give it credit for: division. Not in a "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" kind of way. It's more subtle than that. It's in the little choices we make about what we share, who we include, and how we group ourselves as “us” vs. “them.”

And here's the kicker. We're hardwired to divide ourselves, but it doesn’t move us forward.

The Subtle Art of Drawing Lines

Let’s talk about Kevin.

Kevin works in operations and has strong opinions about Excel formatting. He once nearly cried when someone used Comic Sans in a spreadsheet. We’ve all been there.

Anyway, Kevin’s team ran into a delay with a system update that was going to impact customer onboarding. It wasn’t catastrophic, just… inconvenient. But instead of communicating the delay to anyone, he figured, “We'll have it fixed before anyone notices."

Cue the chaos three days later. Support is getting calls they weren’t prepped for. Everyone’s pointing fingers. The Slack channel is on fire. Kevin is trying to explain that it “wasn’t that big of a deal,” while Angela from Customer Success is visibly restraining herself from throwing her coffee mug.

This is what division looks like in real life. It’s not malicious. It’s often well-intentioned. But when we draw a line around who gets to know what and when, we unintentionally isolate the very people we rely on to deliver results.

Why It Happens

Most people aren't lazy or secretive. It’s often just a mindset that’s been reinforced over time:

• “They’re not on our team.”

• “They wouldn’t understand.”

• “This isn’t their job.”

And sometimes that’s technically true. There are people with different roles, different access, and different authority. But difference doesn’t have to mean distance.

Curiosity Over Control

Division is comfortable. Connection? Not always.

Connection asks more of us. It slows things down (at first). It makes us consider perspectives outside our own little project bubble. It invites questions and, sometimes, criticism.

But it also builds momentum. And trust. And collaboration that doesn’t feel like pulling teeth.

Let’s say Jim, from marketing, is working on a campaign that’s going to launch in two weeks. He’s been collaborating with the product and creative teams and even got buy-in from leadership. But he hasn’t told sales yet. Why? Because last time, Dwight gave him a 37-minute rant about improper logo usage, and frankly, Jim just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth.

Totally understandable. But guess who has to explain the campaign to customers the second it goes live?

Yep. Sales.

And now they’re in the dark, scrambling, and feeling like an afterthought. Which makes them less likely to collaborate on the next campaign. And the cycle continues.

So What Do We Do Instead?

We wake up and choose curiosity. Even when it’s easier to hide in our team silos. Even when we’re tired. Even when Dwight makes everything 30% more complicated than it needs to be.

Here are a few swaps that can make a huge difference:

Instead of - “Do they need to know this?”

Try - “Is there any reason I shouldn't share this?”

Instead of - “How do we move fast?”

Try - “How do we move forward together?”

Instead of - “I’ll just wait until they ask.”

Try - “Let me share this now so nobody's in a last-minute scramble to catch up.”

These are small shifts, but they’re impactful. They move us from communication to connection. From gatekeeping to generosity. From isolation to inclusion.

The Only Good Reason for Distance

The first question is always, "Is there any reason I shouldn't share this?" Sometimes, pausing or withholding is necessary. Perhaps you’re giving a team time to process the info before sharing it more widely. Maybe it's sensitive or confidential, and only select people should be informed. That’s okay, as long as the purpose of the discretion is to increase connection down the line.

The goal isn't constant transparency at all costs. It’s intentional communication. It's clarity with care.

Connection Is a Culture, Not a Checkbox

You can’t just throw the word “collaboration” into your team values and expect it to stick. Connection has to be practiced. And yes, it’s harder. But that’s why it’s so valuable.

Resilient teams don’t avoid tough conversations. They get good at having them. They don’t withhold updates until it’s too late. They communicate early and often. They bring others in when it matters most instead of drawing lines around who’s “in” and who’s “out.”

The best teams I’ve worked with are human, funny, and slightly chaotic in the best way. They send GIFs in Microsoft Teams. They admit when they mess up. They ask, “Hey, am I missing something?” without shame.

Final Thought

Division is easy. It draws clean lines and lets us retreat into what’s comfortable.

But connection? That’s where the good stuff happens. That’s where possibility lives. That’s where actual progress is made—not just in productivity, but in people feeling like they belong.

So tomorrow morning, reach for curiosity. Ask a better question. Loop someone in a little earlier than you normally would. And when in doubt... explain it like someone just got hired.

Need Help?

If your team is stuck in silos, struggling with communication skills, or ready to ditch the "us vs. them" mindset for something way more effective, I can help. Let's build a workplace culture grounded in curiosity, clarity, and connection.

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